Honouring Parents in Afghan Culture

Kerry: And then just one more thing before we get to you. I was curious about the change in your dad from his father's words. Is that something like a cultural, paternal power kind of thing?

In the Afghan culture, if your dad is telling you to do something, it carries a lot more weight than it would in Canadian culture. My dad's nuts, you know? Even here in Columbia, there's more power given to parents than we do in Canada. There are times and places where that can be a good or bad thing. I was just curious if there was a reason your dad would listen to that.

Samir: Yeah, it is very different. In a couple of different ways. First, I think it is important to remember that Eastern cultures are a culture of shame and honour. To appear to be an honourable man means being honourable in the sight of the community and particularly in the sight of your family.

Right. So when your parents say something, it is a question of your very identity. Not listening to your parents, not honouring them, makes you a very dishonourable person. In one way, I think if the world was a perfect place, that makes sense. When we read the word of God, especially the Old Testament, the command, one of the Ten Commandments, is to honour your father and mother so that you may have a long life.

I think we have lost some of that in the Western world, that amount of respect and honour that is due to one's parents. I think it is something that is missing in our culture. Unfortunately, here in the West, our sinful nature always weaves these things in its own way.

In the East, the problem becomes where, because of that honour that the parents are due, sometimes that is highly abused. A parent can ask of their children things that are wrong and sinful. And still, because you want to honour them, you still do those things. So when it came to my dad's situation, I think that was the case. He wanted to honour and listen to his father.

Kerry: Unfortunately, the words of his father were not the words of our heavenly father, who looks at us in a very different way. And I think the dynamic change between the life that my dad lived before and the life that he lives now, where we used to look at his father as an ideal that he had to imitate, now he looks at God as his father, and he imitates Him. And that game of imitation is played everywhere.

For the people who know your dad, I think all of us were shocked when we heard his story. Because, as you said, the anger and whatnot that he had is not visible in this man who seems so full of joy all the time. It's a really amazing testimony.